


Definitely Not Fifty Shades of Grey

by sly_as_an_alpaca



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, BSDM, Bondage, Fifty Shades of Grey, M/M, but not yet lmao, levi is a dick but somehow not as bad as christian grey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:05:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sly_as_an_alpaca/pseuds/sly_as_an_alpaca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is going to interview Mr. Ackerman and Jean is convinced they're going to get it on, Grey-style. Eren is a huge fan of Fifty Shades of Grey and not opposed to the idea when his hopes come true, but BDSM is a lot different than he expected. Maybe he likes this better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Definitely Not Fifty Shades of Grey

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys look, I literally wrote this horseshit at two in the morning a while back and never did anything with it but hey, the writing is acceptable and the idea is gold. I would love to continue it but I have a lot on my plate so I don't really want to without motivation.  
> Here's where you come in: if I don't end up getting, like, a LOT of kudos/comments on this chances are it will just be left unfinished. As you'll notice, this is completely cut short because I basically finished the sentence from where I left off before and posted it-- talk about a bad resolution.   
> Yeah, so the deal is, unless I get some motivation I'm definitely not going to do anything with this. Basically, it's you guys' choice whether it's okay or not and whether it's worth your two seconds to get me to continue it.  
> Enjoy???

“Oh my god, Eren, you’re Anastasia Steele.”

“No I’m not, shut up.”

“You’re Anastasia fucking Steele, this is incredible!” Jean is on the floor laughing. I wish he was on the floor wincing in pain. “No no, but listen! Like--” he breaks off in another fit of giggles for a second, and continues, “So you’re like this interviewer guy or whatever the fuck, and you’re going to see this big-ass CEO man! You’re totally going to bone him.”

“Okay, first off, you would have to be sick and I’d be covering for you.”

“I had the flu last week,” he points out.

“Doesn’t count. Anyway, I seriously doubt this CEO guy is gay, or even into BDSM, or even into me,” I sigh, straightening my tie in the mirror.

“He will be. It’s just too much of a coincidence, Jaeger, I’m sorry.”

“His name is something-or-other Ackerman, anyway, not Christian Grey.”

“Thank God, Christian Grey sounds like a church pastor.” Jean sits up confusedly. “Wait, Ackerman like Mikasa?” 

“I guess so,” I shrug, pulling on a coat.

“Ooh, so there’s some family drama!”

“You can go stick your head up your ass, Mr. Freckle Fetish,” I say, one hundred percent done with his bull. Flipping him a rude hand gesture, I open the front door.

“You’re definitely gonna fuck.”

I walk out of our apartment in a huff. That was Jean Horseface Kirschstein, my roommate. Not really the best roommate a guy could ask for, considering this kind of conversation happens all the time, and he and his boyfriend are always making out on the couch, but hey, it splits the rent in two. I think the worst part of the situation is him constantly making fun of my love for 50 Shades of Grey. Admittedly, it’s about as gay as a pencil while I’m about as straight as a wet noodle, but it’s what really has gotten me interested in BDSM. Hell, if the CEO I’m heading to interview turns out to be a more fabulous version of Christian Grey, then who am I to complain?

Slamming my foot on the break to narrowly avoid rear ending the poor guy in front of me, I realize it may not be the best idea to deeply reflect upon my life predicament while in a heavy flow of traffic.

When I walk into the building, I am struck by some kind of trippy fate shit, because this sandstone lobby is exactly like it’s described in Fifty Shades. Admittedly, it’s much clearer than in the book. High ceilings soar above my head and a hard floor cracks underneath my dress shoes. Classy furniture is strewn about the place, overdressed receptionists man perfectly clean counters, and everyone here seems flawless somehow. Either there’s some kind of set beauty standard for this place (“you must be at least a 9.5 to get in!”), or whoever runs it is a total neat freak.

A sharply dressed butler-ish guy directs me to one of the counters, where a striking African American woman tells me practically the same words the book’s receptionist told Anastasia: “Sign in here, Mr. Jaeger, if you will. You’ll need the last elevator on the right, and he’s on the twentieth floor.” I take the visitor pass-- which is classier than in the book-- thank her, and walk by a couple hot security guard guys to get into my elevator. 

I somehow feel as if I’m a secret agent checking into work, not just some lousy third-rate kid sent to interview a bigwig CEO. I stagger when the elevator starts off at some illegal speed, whisking me off to the twentieth floor faster than anyone ever needs to pass twenty floors in an elevator. There’s another goddamn lobby here and I feel as if I just injured my intestinal health for nothing. A ditzy-looking blonde asks me to wait in row of white leather chairs, an offer which I take graciously. Taking a moment to stare out at the skyline through a much-too-expensive-looking floor to ceiling window, located at the back of a glass walled meeting room, I feel as if I have no privacy. Everything is caged in by glass. I wonder if this is how Anastasia felt, like a pigeon who thinks it can fly through a window. Jean be damned, but this is the exact scene from the god-forsaken book, right down to the interview questions shuffling through my hands and the other questions shuffling through my mind. Questions about the CEO. Mainly questions about whether the CEO is hot or just some forty year old douche.

It’s actually not too uncommon not to know anything about the person you’re interviewing, as far as this industry goes, so I’m not entirely sure why Ana would be so uncomfortable meeting Mr. Grey for the first time. You’re not going to always know the person you’re interviewing; why do you think anyone would want an interview in the first place if you know everything about them?

No unnecessary drama happens between Receptionist Blondes Number One and Two. It does in the book, I think, realizing how unprofessional that would have been in real life. I vaguely wonder why everything here is made out of sandstone. Was there some kind of sale on sandstone when this place was made? A quarry nearby, maybe? My mind has completely wandered off-topic by the time a gorgeous guy with insanely strong eyebrow game comes out of the CEO guy’s office. He looks uncannily like Captain America, and says something over his shoulder to the Ackerman guy before he leaves. 

When the blonde tells me, “Mr. Ackerman will see you now, Mr. Jaeger,” I just about fangirl myself through the roof, because that’s practically an exact line from the book.

Making my way into the office, I see Ackerman for the first time and have to promise myself I won’t actively hit on him, because damn. I’d love to say that the first thing I notice about him is his eyes or something, but truthfully it’s his amazing ass, since he was turned away from me when I came in. He turns around with an air of importance, as CEOs tend to do, the front of his sharp suit coming into view. The guy is shorter than me, with the kind of frame that looks petite but is truthfully muscular. I love his haircut, actually, it’s the kind of sharp undercut I’ve always wanted to try but could never really pull off. And, blessed Lord, he seems about my age. Something about the guy is just really… I guess sexy should be the word, but that’s not what he is, exactly. He’s more stunning than anything else. The kind of beauty that takes you by surprise. I eye his awesome jawbone as he introduces himself as Levi, and then snap out of it when he asks (a bit irritably) if I’m alright. It’s too late now, but I realize I’ve practically been eye-fucking him.

“Jaeger, correct?” he asks in the stark opposite of Grey’s warm voice. Levi’s is sharp, the kind of commanding voice you need to be the CEO of a huge-ass company like this, I figure. The kind that cuts through you like a knife.

“Yes, sir,” I say with an attempt to appear professional. I’m caught by the likeness of the art on Mr. Ackerman’s wall to the art supposedly hanging on Mr. Grey’s. 

“Do you like art?” he asks, and the pure sarcasm and sassiness of that sentence makes my gaydar go off insanely. That’s box number one for my personal Mr. Grey eligibility list, check.

“No,” I tell him honestly. He sneers. What a great start we’re off to.

“Sit down then, I’m a busy man,” says Levi irritably, sitting down in a couch across from the one I plop down into.


End file.
